5 things White People Need to Understand about Quantum Physics

Read this article if you're white and you have opinions about quantum physics.

Read this article if you’re white and you have opinions about quantum physics.

All right white people, listen up. This article is for you.

In the last few weeks, you’ve been hearing a lot about complex numbers and wavefunction formulation. Before you weigh in, it’s important to acknowledge that as a white person, there may be certain things about quantum mechanics you don’t fully understand. As a white male myself, I’ve taken it upon myself to dispel some common misconceptions about quantum science that most white people just refuse to acknowledge.

1.You need to make an effort to look at things outside your four-dimensional-white-person’s perspective.

Understand that just because your view of the universe as a white person seems correct, that you actually exist in  an 11-dimensional space-time consisting of 10 spatial dimensions and 1 time dimension.

To say that we exist in 4-dimensional space-time is to ignore and minimize the lived experience of trillions of possible universes.

2. Delta x times delta p at x is equal to or greater than half of the Planck constant.

As far as combating racism goes, it just doesn’t get any more simple than that.

3.The consequences of entanglement are not “exotic.”

If there’s one thing white people love, it’s describing the behaviour of subatomic particles approaching the speed of light as “exotic” or “uncivilized.” Nothing could be further from the truth.

Just because a particle is occupying multiple spaces simultaneously doesn’t mean its physicality should be fetishized or objectified. It’s no different than a larger object moving at a much smaller velocity- it just doesn’t adhere to your preconceived notions of Newtonian physics.

4.We are absolutely NOT living in a post-unified-field-theory-society.

In an argument with a white Facebook friend the other day, I found myself faced with this now-familiar refrain: “But we’re living in an age now where quantum electrodynamics has already theoretically merged electroweak force with weak nuclear force!”

Um, yeah? So what? White people need to understand that the single apparent success of ANY two fundamental forces being merged is NEVER a valid proof that gravity itself has been reconciled with the three other gauge symmetries. There is still so much work to be done.

5. You, as a white person, will NEVER truly understand quantum mechanics.

Sorry, white people. But you simply lack the cultural, sociological, and cranial capacity to ever truly understand quantum mechanics as a whole.

As physicist Richard Feynman was fond of saying,

“If you [as a white person] think you understand quantum mechanics, you don’t understand quantum mechanics [thanks to your white privilege].”

#NotASingleWhitePerson understands quantum mechanics, and #NotASingleWhitePerson ever will.


Putting the “X” back into “Xmas Sweater” (comic)

This Christmas Sweater party apparently took place in front of a malfunctioning computer screen

I almost thought I wasn’t going to post anything Christmassy, but here you go.

(This cartoon is really really high-res so feel free to use it for a background on your square-screened devices)

A Song of Ice and Fire theory: The surprising case for a secretly still-alive Drogoratheon

Khal-Drogo-dead king-robert-baratheonBe honest- do you even know which one’s which here?

Hi all. I’ve just finished my seventh readthrough of GRRM‘s RGFNS* ASOIAF, and as we all know seven is a holy number (LOL). I realized something that little and less people are talking about.

I call this theory Khal Drogo And Robert Bartheon Are Still Alive And Also Secretly The Same Person (KD + RB = SA & KD = RB = KDRB for short). Now this may sound crazy at first but remember: everybody thought it was crazy when people theorized that HBO would adapt ASOIAF into a TV show.

First, let’s talk about why they are DEFINITELY the same person. Here are two eerily similar quotes, both from GOT. One describes Robert Baratheon, one describes Khal Drogo. See if you can even figure out who is being described in each quotation:

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Three very short horror stories inspired by a lotion store chain in South Korea

The day we found out something was wrong, I asked my mother what she’d put in the pancakes to give them such an… interesting texture. White as a sheet, she said only two words before she passed out from blood loss: ”

it's skin 1

Cynthia’s late husband Arthur had seemed so desperate to tell Barbara where his wife got all her beautiful curtains. Now Barbara would never know. But she did find it interesting that the particular stain near the corner reminded her of poor old Arthur. As she took the fabric in her hands, she suddenly recognized Arthur’s birthmark. “My God,” she whispered- ”

it's skin 2

Angela had been chained up for long enough to have lost track of the days. There was no sunlight, just a bare bulb swinging from the ceiling, flickering sporadically. Every so often, the Man would come downstairs and give her food. Some days, he brought clothing to try on. Today was one of those days. As she slipped on the rubbery, tight pants with the slit down the leg to accommodate the chain around her ankle (like a mannequin’s pants, she thought) she asked what the material was. The Man grinned behind the fangs of his mask and said “You won’t

it's skin 3